Eyes of Iris, Lips of Rose, Skin like Lilies
by Crazi.Neko
Summary: Well, it's the Osamu/Shin fic that I said I might write.... very depressing in a way... second chapter hopefully up soon.


At twenty-four you'd think I wouldn't cry in my sleep so much that I soak the whole pillow. I just shrug it off. Today is really the one day out of the year I'm not my cheerful self. Jyou couldn't understand until he was older why the day holds so much sorrow for me. I get up slowly and go through the motions of getting ready. Today though, I'm not on my way to class. Today I'm heading to the Tamachi/Odaiba Cemetery. 

It's been years. Years upon sorrowful years. I pass by shops we used to go to together, I pass parks filled with children playing. I see two boys chasing each other with so much joy, ignoring all the other children, totally consumed in each other. I see their mothers looking uncomfortably at them. The one giving chase just tackled the other and they're laughing faces close with adorable blushes. The mothers fluster over and decide it's time they left, leaving the boys sad.  I know exactly how they feel. I was in both positions before, being tackled and tackling that is.

I continue on stopping to buy a large bouquet of flowers. Lilies, irises, roses, violets, daisies, and baby's breath. Many people look at me and smile, thinking that I'm off to see a girlfriend or lover. Well, to see a lover is fairly accurate, though he's no longer here. I could never journey far from Tamachi. Odaiba, yes if he was by my side, we could have gone anywhere together. And yes, I know holding on like this is unhealthy but lord I of many people should know that since my father shoved medical studies down my throat for years. But you loose your soul mate at the age of twelve and then tell me that I should leave the one place I can still hear him behind. 

It's too cold. It was an early spring that year. We were so eager to get out and see each other that afternoon. This year we have a late winter. It's bittersweet. Appropriate, yet, so wrong.

I'm passed by a black car that honks and a pale hand waves out the window and I see a flash of purple hair before it's rolled up. I wave back slightly. Ken visited early this morning I take it. He's been busy with some big project at his school. So much in fact that he was worried that he wouldn't be able to make it today. I'm glad he found time.

There's still ice on the ground near the cemetery; the crunching sound is harsh in the quiet stillness of the morning. It's just past seven on a Friday and people are just now beginning to come out and scrape ice of their cars to head into rush hour traffic. Amazing how in these supposed fancy places people are so much more relaxed in the morning. Near my apartment it's almost always noisy. Osamu would have a fit. He hated the hustle and bustle of the inner city. I pause by a smaller plot than the Ichijouji's and brush dead leaves and things off of Taichi's grave stone. There are a few flowers in one of the vases, purple irises and violets. Ken must have put them there. Each of those kids has some signature thing that shows they've been to the graves. I say a small prayer before walking to Osamu's immaculate grave and, placing the flowers by the stone, kneel there.

"Twelve years Osamu," I whisper. "And I still love you…" I feel the tears sting my eyes again. "Ken seems to be getting on fine with Daisuke, though I'm sure that he told you that already. And Jyou is probably right about now picking out an engagement ring for Koushiro. Those two are going strong…" I look at my gloved right hand. I pull it off to reveal a ring that appears to be gold and silver woven together with an emerald and a diamond in it. "I miss you Osa-koi…"

"I'm fairly positive I miss you more Shin-koi…" drifts to my ears in Osamu's tear-ridden voice. I place my fingers over the inscription and trace the words, tears escaping their dark prison. I can barely feel a hand over mine, I can't see it but dear Gods above me I feel it and it calms me more than anything else does.  Memories flood over me and I let them as tears fall and feel the presence of Osamu leaning over me trying to comfort me.

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"Shin! Not so fast!" Osamu yelled to his friend as they ran in a sheltered part of park. No one to see them, no one to disturb their little wonderland.

"I'm not going fast Osa-kun!" he called over his shoulder but slowing down a bit before being tackled by a laughing, blushing Osamu.

"I caught you!" the other declared. Shin didn't care how smart he was, or expect him to be some sophisticated kid. Shin just wanted him to cut loose and have some fun with him. Osamu was so happy when he was with Shin that he could forget that all the other people in his life besides Ken expected him to be some weird super genius. He was just smart, but he _was still only ten years old. Shin was busy laughing as well since Osamu had started tickling him about when he tackled him, give a few moments probably. "And, I don't think I'm gonna let you up yet!" _

"'Samu!" Shin laughed out trying to wiggle away, though not really. He liked making Osamu smile. As far as he knew, only he and Ken made him smile for real so he would never break up a happy time unless he had to go home. "You're making it hard to breathe!"

"Am not! You're just laughing to much!" he giggled, before gasping in surprise when Shin grabbed his hands and rolled them over, Shin on top. 

"No I wasn't. You were tickling too much!"

"Was not!" Osamu declared giving him a playful glare.

"Were to!" Shin said accenting his point with a poke to the nose, causing him to let go of one of the violet-haired boy's hands.

"Hey!" he said grabbing the offending finger and looking up, blushing when he realized how close Shin really was.

"What's wrong?" Shin asked when he noticed the uneasy look in his best friend's eyes.

"Nothing!" Osamu said looking away blushing harder.

"Something's wrong. I can tell. You looked kinda freaked…" Shin said leaning closer to try and see the other's eyes again.

"I said it was nothing!" was the murmured reply as the other still avoided the peering black eyes. Shin wasn't taking that answer because he let go of the other hand and pulled away from Osamu's grip and turned the pale, but red cheeked boy to look at him.

"And I say you're lying to me 'Samu! What's wrong? Did I do something?" he asked his eyes looking hurt at the thought.

"No!" he said quickly and looking right at Shin's eyes. The world seemed to slow to the two boys as they stared at each other. "Shin?"

"Yeah?"

Osamu opened his mouth to ask a question before blushing harder and shaking his head. "Nevermind."

"No tell me. You can trust me Osamu; you're my best friend. You can tell me anything and it'll stay between us," Shin said trying to coax it out of the boy beneath him.

"Do you like me?" he asked in a really small voice. Shin blinked.

"Of course! You're my best frie-"

"No, I mean really _like me…" Osamu interrupted quietly, looking away from the shocked look on his friend's face._

Shin was unsure of how he should answer that. He _did like Osamu, but did Osamu __like __him the same way? He didn't want Osamu mad at him and it seemed that he was unsure how Shin would react to the question. Unfortunately staying quiet while trying to figure all this out wasn't good because Osamu took it as a very definite 'no' and started to try and shove him off so he could leave._

"Osamu stop it!"

"No! Let me up…. I should be going home… To study or something…." Osamu said.

"No. You're gonna stay here and talk to me," Shin said quietly catching his friends hands and holding them as still as he could seeing as the body under him was wildly wiggling. Osamu glared at his friend, eyes looking ready to make tears any second. "What happened? I thought we were having fun….." 

"I don't know…It's just that, well. I..." he trailed off, looking at Shin's concerned yet determined eyes. He closed his eyes, which pushed small tears out and down. Shin frowned and let go of the hands to wipe them away.

"If you don't tell me what's wrong 'Samu, I can't help…" Osamu looked up and saw the same comforting gaze he always did except this time they had some hurt in them. Osamu's hands grabbed Shin's shirt as he started to cry silently.

"Please, help me understand!" he said. Shin pulled Osamu into a sitting position.

"Understand what?" he asked trying to wipe more tears away, scowling a bit when he found it was a losing battle. "I don't understand why you're upset!" Osamu clung to him as he cried.

"I feel like something's wrong! I can't explain it! I just feel like something terrible is going to happen! And it hurts me because I think it'll end up hurting you and I don't want that!" Shin pulled his friend into a hug. 

"Don't worry. Nothing is going to happen to me." Osamu looked up with an expression that seemed to ask 'are you sure?' "I promise you now Ichijouji Osamu that I'll be fine and very careful."

"Okay…" Osamu said shakily. "But I hate this feeling!" He pressed himself closer to his friend.

"Everything will be fine, I promise!" Shin told him giving him a squeeze.

"Okay then… Thank you, Shin," Osamu said, smiling at him slightly. 

"What else are best friend's for?"

"TICKLING!" Osamu declared tackling him again. Shin whooped with laughter as he was tickled mercilessly. 

"'Samu!"

"Hmmm?" he asked pausing a moment and looking at him.

"It's my turn!" he said rolling them over and tickling Osamu. Osamu squirmed wildly being _very ticklish. Shin smiled at the happy look on Osamu's face. The boy started to cough from lack of air so Shin stopped and let the boy catch his breath. _

"That's (pant) not (wheeze) fair!" the smaller boy got out. Shin laughed shaking his head, tossing his blue hair around.

"Sure it is. Tickling is always fair. You," he poked Osamu's nose again, "said it yourself 'Samu." The other boy pouted and Shin couldn't help but think it was utterly adorable.

"What? You're staring at me," Osamu said his chest still heaving while he wondered what was going on in the head of the boy who was seated about on his stomach, carefully though. Shin always tried very hard not to hurt him.

"No I'm not!" Shin blushed. Osamu arched an eyebrow at him and nodded, smiling. 

"Prove it," Osamu told him with a smirk.

"How?"

"How many times did I lick my lips since you stopped tickling me?"

"About seven or so why?" His cheeks were only slightly pink with the answer.

"If you hadn't been staring at me you wouldn't have known that," Osamu pointed out reaching up and poking Shin's nose while he giggled. Shin's eyes crossed as he looked at the finger poking his nose. Shin's cheeks turned a dark red. "So, why were you staring at me?" Shin shrugged slightly pushing the finger away.

"I wasn't," he answered again. Osamu laughed at him. 

"You can never lie to me, Shin-kun!" he giggled. "You were staring at me. So if you don't want to answer that question how about answering why you're blushing? And now you're looking at me like I have grown another head!" Osamu looked exasperatedly at his friend who was looking at him with big wide eyes and a gaping mouth. "WHAT?!"

"You called me 'Shin-kun'!"

"So?" Osamu was lost now, and he understood how Shin felt when he was being weird about things.

"You have always called me Shin," he said. Osamu blushed.

"Sorry… I won't call you Shin-kun again," he said looking away slightly.

"No, it's just you never called me that before… I like it Osa-kun."

"You, you do?" he asked looking back to the black eyes. Shin nodded with a slight smile. Osamu blushed. He was pretty sure that he had blushed more in the time he spent with Shin today than he had in his entire life. Was it his imagination or was Shin's face getting a little closer? Osamu pushed himself closer to Shin's nearing face, making it so that Shin didn't have to move far. Then their lips met in a soft touch. Osamu felt his cheeks burn a bright ripe cherry apple red. Shin was blushing a bit himself, but he liked the way Osamu's lip felt and he pushed himself a little closer. Osamu closed his eyes and slowly pulled an arm up to Shin's neck and kept it there. Osamu let out a small whimper when Shin pulled away just slightly. 

"Osamu…"

"Hai Shin?" he asked breathing a little hard.

"Um.. Well, I _do like you…" he said quietly. Osamu briefly wondered where the admission had come from before realizing that he was answering his earlier question. The amethyst-eyed boy smiled widely and shyly leaned up and brushed his lips against Shin's. _

"Good because I like you too…." Shin beamed as he leaned his head against Osamu's and kissed his nose causing a giggly squeak to come from his friend. They looked at each other before giggling and hugging each other. Suddenly they heard Mrs. Ichijouji calling for Osamu followed by Ken calling for his Onii-chan. Shin stood up and then helped Osamu up, earning a kiss on the cheek. "See you soon?" he asked hopefully.

"You bet," Shin said kissing his cheek and heading for his house. Osamu sighed dreamily as he went and joined his mother and little brother. 

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Shin whistled as he walked towards the park. He was going to spend the whole Saturday with his best friend and now, obviously, crush Osamu. Though he did kiss the blue-nette back, Shin couldn't tell if Osamu liked him the same way that he did. Shin smiled when he saw Osamu sitting on a swing. The park was pretty empty because it was still early. Cartoons were still on and many people still at home. "Osa-kun!" he called jogging up to his friend and plopping in the swing next to him. "Something wrong?"

"Iie."

"Do you feel okay?"

"Hai."

"Then why are you all quiet, 'Samu?" Shin asked looking at his friend with very worried eyes. 

"It's nothing. Come on… Let's go to our spot!" he said getting up. Shin nodded and followed his friend into the woods to a grove where they always played around. "Shin… Can I ask you a really important question?"

"Of course Osamu!" Shin said without hesitation. Osamu took a deep breath as if preparing himself.

"Why did you kiss me three days ago?" he asked in a rush looking right into Shin's black eyes.

"Honestly?" Osamu nodded, looking like he was preparing himself for the worst. "Because I wanted to."

"You- you wanted to, kiss me?" Osamu asked blushing madly with a funny smile on his face. He was obviously not expecting _that answer. Shin nodded._

"And I still kinda want to…" he said not looking at his friend.

"Then what's stopping you?" Osamu asked boldly, as he took a small step closer to Shin. The taller boy looked up at his face and smiled. Osamu had one of the happiest looks on his face. 

"Nothing now," he said moving in and kissing Osamu's cheek. Osamu smiled with a blush. He put his arms around Shin's neck and rested his head on the other's shoulder.

"Shin-kun, can we stay like this?"

"I don't see why not…" he answered leaning his head against Osamu's soft purple hair. Osamu hummed in happiness. Shin pulled away a bit, but before Osamu could say anything, pulled the boy down with him to the ground. Osamu grinned shyly at Shin when he found himself in the other boy's lap.

"Shin… How long are we going to be like this?" asked the young genius. He really liked being able to get an answer from someone. He did _NOT want to know all the answers, and Shin never expected him too._

"Like what exactly? Seated here on the ground holding each other? Till I have to go home I guess…" he answered pulling Osamu to lean against him.

"No, I mean… Together I guess," Osamu whispered to him.

"Forever," Shin told him firmly raising his head to look at him. "I wouldn't have it any other way, 'Samu…"

"Good… Because, I want forever too," Osamu admitted leaning up and stealing a kiss from Shin's lips. 

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And for about a year, all we did when we kissed was touch lips. Really just barely touching them together. Light and chaste. We were only ten; there was no need to take it further. That is until we were twelve. It was Osamu's twelfth birthday. He was very happy, I was happy because for once the smile he wore in public was not forced. Ken looked at him with such happy eyes before the poor kid fell asleep. Mrs. Ichijouji had Ken sleeping in the guestroom that night so that Osamu and I didn't disturb Ken. That night is one of my favorite memories of us, Osamu…. You remember it well too, don't you?

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Osamu giggled quietly as they sat at the round table in his room. His parents and brother were asleep on the other side of the apartment so they could talk in hushed tones and not have to really worry about waking anyone. Shin was glad his friend was so happy.

"Shin-kun, I know that it seems kinda weird, but I kinda have a present for you," Osamu said moving closer to the blue-nette.

"Osa-kun, it's your birthday. Other people give _you presents, Baka!" he chuckled out as Osamu stood leaning against the table. Osamu seemed really willowy in his pajamas. He was gorgeous anyway but right now, he looked exceptionally heavenly. _

"But, it's a special present. Come on. I have feeling that you'll like it," he whispered mischievously. Shin obviously took the bait.

"Then what is it, 'Samu?"

"This…" Osamu said as he leaned in and kissed Shin. Shin smiled a bit before Osamu sat straddling him. He wasn't going anywhere without shoving Osamu off of him. Not that this bothered him or anything. Osamu slowly parted his lips and traced Shin's lips with his tongue. Shin opened his mouth to Osamu's tongue, slipping his own into the other boy's mouth. Osamu groaned a bit as Shin reached his arms up around his thin waist and pulled him all the more closer. Their tongues then had a brief battle for who would control the kiss. Neither cared who won really, nor could they remember after they parted. They looked at each other; cheeks red from lack of air, both panting slightly, and eyes shining with joy, love, and hope through their respective glasses.

"I don't just like, I love," Shin whispered leaning up to kiss those sweet tasting lips again. The ice cream cake mixed with something that had to be Osamu was almost intoxicating.

"Hmmm… I planned on that," Osamu said quietly. They kissed again, Osamu standing and pulling Shin to the lower bunk bed. Shin all but tackled Osamu onto it, not breaking their kiss. Neither could have cared if Osamu's parents walked in on them at the moment, or Ken really, all they cared about was being with each other and being closer than they ever had been.

 It had been about eleven o'clock when Osamu kissed Shin that night and neither went to sleep till about one the next morning. But by then, each knew the spots that made the other a little 'hot and bothered'. They woke early enough to make sure they weren't caught. Osamu had a fear that his parents would not be too happy if they found out now. Shin had tried to tell him that love was love and there was nothing they could do to stop them from loving each other. But, Osamu had said he never doubted the strength of their love, nor did he fathom the pain not being with him would cause. Shin opened his mouth to say something when Osamu kissed him again. 

"They wouldn't let me see you Shin-koi…" Osamu whispered heart-brokenly when he pulled back. Tears were in his eyes all ready at the thought.

"No! I'll always be with you Osamu… Always. I made a promise of forever and I intend to keep it." Osamu smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around Shin's neck as Shin held him around his waist, kissing his neck comfortingly. Osamu kissed him goodnight and climbed into his bed and Shin climbed into Ken's. He was more troubled then he let on, but the sight of an almost heart-broken Osamu was something he _NEVER EVER wanted to see again._

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AN: Takepon: she doesn't own a garsh-darn thing of this at all!!! 

Mel: It should only be two chapters long…

Takepon: and wonderfully depressing!

Mel: **sigh** how do I get myself into these things?

Takepon: Please review!


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